Red flags are defined as those little comments made by someone you are communicating with that make you feel uneasy as though something is not quite right. You may notice that something is said or that certain characteristics and behaviors come out that make you think twice about pursuing anything with that individual.

One of the reasons it is so important to use the e-mail and other communication tools within the online dating service instead of your personal accounts is that many times, these red flags take weeks to months to show. Therefore, while you are learning about this person, you are protecting yourself. The information below is just a few examples of what would constitute a red flag. Some of these may seem like a no-brainer to you but it is important that you keep your mind open even to the subtle indicators.

  * If the person provides you with inconsistent information regarding interests, marital status, profession, family, age, employment, and so on, start taking note of the various things to see if you simply misunderstood or if the truth is being stretched.
  * If the person does not provide you with direct answers, you should be asking yourself why
  * The individual seems interested in you but after meeting, he or she makes up excuses to not introduce you to family and friends
  * Seems to become irritated or angry easily - look for passive-aggressive behavior
  * Attempts to put pressure on you - perhaps he or she is persistent in getting your phone number, your address, information about your work, your family, your children, or wants to meet you now
  * Makes demeaning or condescending comments about you, his or her family, friends, or co-workers 
  * Refuses to make phone contact after the two of you have established a good online connection, which could be an indication that there is a spouse or significant other involved
  * Insists he or she does not have a photograph to upload and constantly makes excuses for not rectifying the problem
  * The person is young and single, and interested in meeting and building a relationship with you but states they want someone who is single, divorced, or widowed, has no children (heirs), is financial stable, and would be willing to accept poor health - this would show all the signs of a gold-digger
  * The person has no life achievements and/or still lives with parents
  * States his or her turn-on is walking on the beach, snuggling, and sitting in front of a fireplace gazing into each other's eyes. While some people do enjoy this, to determine if this person is sincere, you need to do much more investigation.
  * Has served time in jail/prison - sure, people can change but this is something to learn much more about and not just from that person
  * Someone who seems to be overly interested in someone with children
  * A person that has a lot of baggage and negative history - if that person has overcome those obstacles, then kudos to him or her but in most cases, it takes years of therapy and hard work to conquer serious issues
  * Religious or political views are two things that can cause a divorce in a heartbeat. If the individual is very overpowering with his or her views, even if you share the same viewpoints, chances are conversations could become heated.
  * If you start talking to someone who has completed his or her PhD and spends more time bragging than trying to get to know you, watch out
  * A passive/submissive behavior is a bad sign that the person does not think on his or her own feet, which is not want you want. Although that person may be nice, you probably do not want a doormat as a partner.
  * The person immediately starts talking about sex or things that are too personal

Although these red flags do not make a person bad or a bad choice, they simply raise questions to whether or not that person is right for you. Additionally, just as you look for red flags in others, take time to perform a self-evaluation to see if you project red flags to others.